Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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