did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize