Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize