those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize