took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize