I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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