Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
