Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
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I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
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Your topless pictures make me question reality
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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