doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my phone needs a breathalizer
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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