Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize