On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize