We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He better not be in your backpack
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize