five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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