I'm jealous of your bromance
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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