No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
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i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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