Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize