He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
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I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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