Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize