Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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