Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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