just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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