Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
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I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I will be naked everywhere
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
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FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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