If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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