I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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