Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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