my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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