i jhust puked up my retainher.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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