So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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