I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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