the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
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Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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