Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
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I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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