dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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