My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize