WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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