Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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