Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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