Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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