i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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