we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize