Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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