i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I could make wine with my vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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