fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize