I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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