hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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