my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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