I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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