It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
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Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
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So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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