Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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