I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize