Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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